


Can't Speak For Myself

by Birdfluff



Category: PAYDAY (Video Games)
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 11:57:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdfluff/pseuds/Birdfluff
Summary: Houston seems to have a problem only Bodhi could see.





	Can't Speak For Myself

Houston wandered outside the safe house, his head buzzing. Well, not necessarily “wander”, but he didn’t want to look like he was on a mission either. So, nonchalantly, he gravitated towards the sounds of grunts and fast skids of shoes against pavement.

Bodhi had always liked sparing and occasionally commented on how there is such a lack of it and how much steam was built up. He never called it sparing though. “Fighting” would be all in good fun, he said.

Houston understood now what he meant by steam, and the alcohol wasn’t helping him much. He stood there by the garage door, keeping his distance as he watched Chains crash his shoulder into Bodhi’s chest, which knocked them both into the high wall. Bodhi managed to shove him off and Chains rolled onto the ground. They both stopped, winded. Sweat dripped down their faces and stained their wife beaters.

Chains hissed in pain as he forced himself to sit up, “Jesus...”

“How you feelin’, brother?” Bodhi lent him a hand.

“Sore, but better.” He clapped Bodhi on the shoulder, “Thanks, my man.”

“No problem--” He smiled when he saw Houston, “Hey, brah, you looking for a fight? Ready to let that steam go?”

Houston nodded, shrugging off his suit jacket and letting it drop on the ground.

Bodhi raised a brow, “I can tell you tried alcohol first. How much did you have?”

“Just a few shots. I’m only buzzed.”

“Yea? This isn’t the alcohol talking then?” 

“No,” He removed his tie and made sure it landed on top of the jacket.

“Alright, give me a few. Chains, mi amigo, can you toss me a bottle?”

Houston finally took off his shirt and rolled his shoulder for any kinks. “Make sure to give me all you got.”

“Is that the alcohol?” Bodhi glanced over at Chains.

He solemnly shook his head.

“... Alright then.”

~~~

A hard punch to the forehead nearly caused Houston the black out. He felt his chest hit the ground and something spewed out of his mouth. That didn’t stop him from blindly getting back up and throwing another swing at Bodhi. He swung too recklessly that he ended up capsizing and he fell back onto the ground. He stayed there, breathing. There was an awful taste in the back of his throat.

Droplets of water splashed on his warm face. He could hear it sizzling his skin. It wasn’t raining, was it?

“You really gave it your all, brother.”

Bodhi was flicking water on him.

He reached out and he felt Bodhi hand the water bottle off to him. Houston proceeded to dump the liquid over his head. He weakly threw the bottle, “More...”

He was too tired to open his eyes. Scuffling of shoes echoed beside him then the clattering of ice. A cold bottle did not meet his hand. Instead, water splashed over his torso and downward.

Houston soaked in the cool wetness for a while, occasionally licking the water off of his lips. Finally opening his eyes, Bodhi surrounded his whole vision. Damp sweaty hair glued to his face and neck. His shining eyes filled with concern. He reeked.

“How are you holding?”

Houston slowly sat up, shrugging off the unwanted help, “Alright...”

Bodhi gave him a bottled water and watched Houston chug the entire thing. He stroked his hand gently along his spine. When he was done, Houston chucked the empty container across the driveway.

Bodhi eyed the now littered ground then back at Houston, his voice dripping with disappointment, “... You still look like something’s bothering you.”

Bodhi still had his hand on his back.

“I don’t talk.”

“If you say so, brother. If fighting won’t let you loose, then you can meditate with me.”

Houston scoffed, “I can’t meditate.”

“Hah, c’mon, amigo. Anyone can meditate.” His hand was rubbing up and down his back again.

“I’m showering first,” Houston tried standing up to find himself weak in the arms. “Goddammit.” 

Bodhi lifted him up from the shoulders, “Ah, ah, you’re not getting away that easy. I’m pretty sure you can’t walk either, so let me be your guy to lean on, okay?”

Houston exhaled hard out of his nose. He wasn’t entirely ungrateful for the help but his wish to be alone was growing. “As long as you don’t undress me and give me a sponge bath, I’m fine with this.”

Bodhi laughed. A nice short laugh. He even gave his side a squeeze.

~~~

Bodhi did not pest him about meditation. It seems like he was waiting for Houston to ask. It took him around four days for him to “wander” downstairs and into Bodhi’s room, steadfastly ignoring Sokol’s suspicious gaze.

“Bodhi.”

He was standing before his workshop in the corner of the small room. Without looking at him, Houston could tell he was smiling, “Close the door and take a seat, brother.”

He did close the door but awkward stood, gazing around the room on where exactly to sit.

“Meditation is always on the floor.”

… Fair enough.

Houston moved away from the door and sat down near the surfboard bench. The floor was unsurprisingly cold to the touch. He shifted, uncomfortably. 

“Be still. Cross your legs and close your eyes.”

He obeyed.

“Breathe slow.”

Bodhi turned on the tiny radio and the stock sound of ocean waves filled the room.

“Focus on the waves. Clear your mind. If any thoughts try to block out the waves, imagine the water catching those thoughts and engulfing them. Release your soul.”

Bodhi quietly moved about the room, carefully lifting a board from the many racks and setting it down on the bench to wax it down. Hoping that this will create a more of a beach ambiance for Houston.

After a while, he looked up and frowned to see that his brow was furrowed and the breathes he took were shallow.

“The ocean is big enough to swallow your thoughts, brother.” 

“Doesn’t feel like it is.” He said through gritted teeth.

“You have to trust the ocean.”

Houston threw up his hands, “Well, you know the ocean better than I do!”

Bodhi stared, “I have never seen you so stressed. I didn’t want to say this but Hoxton--”

“I know what that shithead’s been saying about me. He’s worried. I’m making everyone worried. It’s affecting the heists, I know.”

“But you can’t say it.” Bodhi mused. Houston whipped his head over to him. Bodhi merely shrugged, “Well, brother, that’s your line. Who am I to change it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not gonna force you to talk.”

Houston did not find comfort in the sentiment, “Thanks.”

“But will you let me try something else?”

“Like what?”

“Just a massage, you’re tense.”

“Fine.” He said that too quick, “Why not?”

~~~

Bodhi’s hands kneaded nicely against his shoulders. With the ocean ambiance still reverberating throughout the room, he was beginning to feel relaxed.

Houston took in the small room, surf boards lining the wall, some sort of giant circular wall decoration taking up the space. He had not been down here much. He concerned himself with only the ground floor and upstairs. He saw no reason to come down.

Then he saw the parchment paper next to the door that read “Ozaki 8”. It was a list of eight, only two on the bottom were not crossed out. Master of Six Lives and Act of Ultimate Trust. He had heard Bodhi talking about this but he never talked of origination of the trial, other than it was important to him. Bodhi was insane, technically speaking he was an adrenaline junkie. He’s only here for that reason alone.

“You’re looking at my life goal, bro.”

“What’s the last two? What do they mean?”

“That, I have to figure out.”

“How did you figure out the other six?”

“You want me to go on about that?”

“You can if you like. You won’t sound like you’re bragging. Really.”

Bodhi smiled, squeezing his shoulders, “Alright.”

~~~

“What got you into surfing?”

“I’ve always loved surfing, ever since I was just a baby.”

“I’ve heard you mention the waves here aren’t like the east coast.”

“No, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful.”

“... Bodhi, how do you find beauty in so many things?”

“Mother nature. She put in a lot of work that shouldn’t be taken for granted.”

“Is that how you found peace?”

“Hm, I can’t say it was easy. Patience goes a long way, brother.”

Houston shook his head, “You have amazing patience. I’ve never seen you lose your cool. I’d hate to piss you off somehow.”

Bodhi laughed mirthlessly, patting his shoulder as he stood up. “Just because I have a lot of patience doesn’t mean I can’t get mad. Those aren’t as juxtaposed as you might think. If anyone breaks my boards, I’ll break their neck. Just like if anyone touches your van and tools. You get me, compadre?”

“I get you...”

~~~

Bodhi looked like a man on a mission as he made his way upstairs and beelined to the van where the occasional swear would emerge.

Houston pulled himself out from under the vehicle, wiping oil off of his face with a rag, “Fuck!”

“I can hear that from the basement. You okay with help?”

Houston slowly looked over him, hesitating to respond. His pretty blue eyes were intimidating to look at today. Always him. It was always him, itching to help. Ever since their last conversation Houston had noticed Bodhi had a knack of knowing when something was wrong. The van problems were occasional due to the heists. Everyone learned to ignore Houston swearing up a storm as he worked. Houston had forgotten from the past how Bodhi did come by to offer assistance, but he never truly noticed until this second. Guilt panged at his chest.

“... Sure. Hand me that wrench, will y-- Thanks.” He quickly retracted under the car.

“So, what’s wrong with her?”

“Just a few things. In need of an oil change.”

Bodhi watched in silence, occasionally grabbed a tool for Houston when asked.

The safehouse was in one of it’s quiet phases that happened only for a short time on a few days of each month. No one was used to the quiet, but they accepted it either way, except Jimmy, whose loud tone deaf singing voice from the bathroom could be heard throughout the ground and upstairs floors.

Rust was still unboxing his belongings. Sydney had her mask rack all set up. Bodhi could hear Hoxton and Dallas walking downstairs and their voices chatting away. Soon, Hoxton’s old butler dropped by with drinks to which Bodhi took and set Houston’s drink down by his tools.

“How are we looking?” Bodhi only spoke when Houston was out from under the car, to not break his concentration.

“It’s getting there.” He wiped the sweat from his neck and brow from the same dirty rag. His face only looked more filthy when he was done. Bodhi withheld a snort.

He handed Houston his drink, “Here. I’ll get you a better rag.”

“No, it’s--” but he had already gotten up. Houston took a sip and exhaled. He watched as Bodhi sauntered back and he took the clean rag from him. He should tell him. How long had Bodhi been with the gang again? A pretty long time, he thought, but he couldn’t think of the proper dates. He dabbed the rag against his face.  
He should tell him. He really should, but he was never good with words.

“You got some oil in your hair.”

“Fuck, do I?”

“I’ll get it, sit tight.” Bodhi took the rag from him and gently rubbed it on his head. A odd quietness fell over them as he did this.

Houston felt like he should be saying something. “You’re good with your hands.”

He only realized how awful that sounded when he heard Sydney bark with laughter from behind the van. Goddammit. He did not want to look like a tomato.

“I do a lot with my hands so I have to be.” Bodhi smiled with a glint of amusement in his eyes. “You’re good with yours.”

“... Thanks.”

~~~

The hell was Bodhi? He wasn’t in his room, not at the bar, or upstairs.

He hated to know that his curiosity and stress was obvious since Sokol was the one who confronted him, “You are looking for Bodhi. He is on the roof.”

“... The roof?”

“Yes. He climbed up there.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

This must be a recurring scenario if Sokol was so smooth about it. How the hell was he supposed to get up there?

He tried upstairs to notice one of the windows was open, letting the nightly air breeze in. Houston poked his head out. The roof was in arm’s reach. He knew it was able to be accessed, hell if the swat team could get up there anyone can. He only wonder how he could pull it off without falling flat on his broken back.

He turned his body one eighty and sat on the sil, holding onto the roof’s tiles sticking out. He hoisted himself up to his elbows as his feet tried to find a firm hold. Fuck, fuck, f--

He then felt hands grabbing his forearms and hauled him up onto the roof.

“Whatever happened to ‘don’t act dumb’?”

“I don’t need your sass right now, Bodhi.”

“Your line, brother.”

“Yeah...” Houston got onto his knees, “What the fuck are you doing on the roof?”

“Isn’t this view beautiful? Look at those stars!”

For a moment, Houston did but he looked back at Bodhi with his gleeful smile and glistening beautiful eyes that shined like stars themselves. “They are.”

“The stars are up there.”

“I know they are...”

Bodhi took him by the hand and guided him away from the edge and then urged him to sit back down. He put an arm over his shoulders and held him close.

“Is this what you wanted to tell me?”

Houston’s face flushed, “Was it that obvious?”

“Somewhat. It’s clear to me now and I can see why you couldn’t say it.” Bodhi squeezed his shoulder, “but believe me when I say the feeling is mutual.”

“Really? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You weren’t ready. That’s why I was helping you out.”

Oh. Now, he just felt dumb.

“Oh…”

“Don’t feel guilty. It’s all in the past now.”

Houston nodded. With hesitation, he rested his head on his shoulder.

“... So, what are we then?”

“We’ve always been together, Houston. We just needed to see it ourselves.”

Hearing his name roll off his tongue sent a chill down his spine. “That’s a step up already.”

“What? Me saying your name?”

“Mmhm.”

“I like Houston.”

He whined, nudging him in the ribs, which only made Bodhi laugh that wonderful laugh, “You’re an ass.”


End file.
